The Best Defense is No Fence

by Wendy Wolfe on February 7, 2013

Have you ever wondered how to protect yourself when you feel drained by other people that take your energy?

When you are learning to master your energy there are many different techniques you can learn to protect yourself but ultimately the best technique does not involve “protection” or “walls” or “fences”.

I’ll tell you the best technique in a moment but first let me share a story with you.  This is how I learned some important lessons about working with my energy field.

Indy relaxed and balanced after a cranio-sacral treatment.

Indy relaxed and balanced after a cranio-sacral treatment.

Many years ago I was learning cranio-sacral therapy for horses.  Cranio-sacral therapy is an energetic form of healing that involves working with precise finger placement and the cranial wave.  I was at a workshop and our instructor was demonstrating some specific finger positions for us on my horse.  She was very clear that she would be working with her energy and the horses’ energy and she did not want anyone else’s energy to “interfere”.  As I and the other students observed her she got a disappointed look on her face and told us all to get our energy out of their space.

I had no idea my energy was in her space but I did trust her ability to sense energy.  I pondered how I might get my energy out of her space.  I decided to imagine a Plexiglas tube that encased my energy.  The tube was open below my feet so I could still ground my energy to the earth and it was open above my head so that I could bring in divine energy for replenishment.  This allowed me to see what was going on but kept my energy in a nice container just a foot or so from my body.  It worked.  She was no longer sensing my energy.

Thinking more about this, I wondered why my energy was in her space.  I didn’t consciously intend to send my energy her way but I sent my thoughts her way.  At that moment it became very clear to me.  Where my attention goes…my energy flows.  All I need to do is think about an animal, person or situation and my energy follows my thought.  It was like discovering that crucial puzzle piece that allows you to see where other pieces can fit.  It filled in a space that caused so much more of the “how energy works” picture to become apparent.    More important was the discovery that my visualization of what I wanted to do with my energy field worked instantaneously.  Now, despite having read many books and attending workshops, I had a deeper understanding of how my energy field worked and how I could consciously control it.

So how can this help us when we are confronted with someone taking our energy?  We can’t control what the other person is doing but we can control our own energy field.  We do it with our mind.  It’s not complicated but it does require imagination.  Our imagination, which is using our mind creatively, actually controls our energy.

The most powerful way to keep others from draining your energy is to fill your field with a loving and potent white light.

Focus on your heart center and allow the emotion of gratitude and love to fill your being. (If you’ve been practicing my Energy Mastery meditation, this will be easier to do.) Now visualize this love and gratitude as a beautiful glowing bright white light that fills your entire energy body.  Your imagination makes it so.  Nothing else can penetrate your field at this moment.

The beauty of this technique is that you haven’t created a wall or fence to keep others out.  You aren’t defending yourself from another.  You are emanating a beautiful energy that others feel.  An energy that feels good to them. With your energy field beautifully filled to the brim, nothing drains you.

This other person isn’t draining your energy because they are mean, selfish, or a bad person.  They drain your energy because they don’t know any other way to replenish their energy.  They are uneducated about this energy thing.  The most loving thing you can do is project your own, beautiful heart energy.  To be clear, you are not feeding them your energy, you are filling your field.

I know this seems too simple to work.  We live in a culture that tells us we must work hard to achieve what we desire. We have been misled.  When working with our energy it can be this simple.

Would you like to learn more about how you can manage your energy more effectively?

Maybe you would like to learn more about how to be your own Guru by tapping into the infinite wisdom of your higher self; your wiser intuitive self.  Once again I am offering my one-on-one Illumination Program.  If you would like to talk to me (at no charge) to see if this is the right program for you, you can schedule a time here.  Enrollment will be limited as I am also spending time writing my first book, Phoenix Rising, Embracing the Gifts of the Survivor Experience.   For more information about working one-on-one with me, look here.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Marisha February 8, 2013 at 3:09 am

I can relate to what you wrote and of course this is crucial being a massage therapist. My Ortho-Bionomy teacher talks about keeping your energy vertical so as not to infringe on the other person’s energetic space. Very similar to what you mentioned. I also have noticed how when my heart is open and I am in an energetically healthy state, I do not feel drained but if I am not centered I can get exhausted.


Wendy Wolfe February 9, 2013 at 9:42 pm

Thanks for sharing your observations Marisha. I agree that our state has much to do with how we are affected by other’s energy.


cathy February 15, 2013 at 1:46 am

Thanks for explaining this so clearly Wendy. I have always been confused about how to work with energy–specifically to keep mine from being drained. This was a great post. And I LOVE the title.


Jane Stanton February 19, 2013 at 5:06 pm

Thank you for explaining this so simply I am going to start using it today.


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