Full Disclosure

by Wendy Wolfe on January 7, 2014

I’ve been gone for awhile…perhaps you noticed.

I could tell you it was the holidays but that would only be part truth.

Each time I’ve thought to sit down and write my blog my brain quickly and quietly switched gears.

–organize your files

–you need to pay bills

–I wonder what’s on Facebook

–that floor needs to be cleaned…

and any of a hundred other tasks that needed my IMMEDIATE attention.  Hours, days, and weeks passed.  Resistance won.

Truth be told, I’ve been hiding.

I’ve been hiding myself from you my readers, my clients, my friends.

I didn’t want you to know my truth.

Oh, I threw out some subtle hints but I have been anything but authentic.  I didn’t want you to know that I have moved.

I sold my interest in Open Heart Ranch to Becky and bought a house in Amherst, WI on the water.

The view from my pier where the sun sets.

The view from my pier with a little ice on the river.

I didn’t want questions and I didn’t want to hear “oh, I’m so sorry to hear that”.

There are several reasons I didn’t want to hear this.

First, there is no reason for anyone to “be sorry” for me.  I love my magical house on the river (and I will tell you the magical story how I found it another time).  I made this choice to move by listening to the guidance of my soul.  But my reluctance to speak publically goes deeper.

My reluctance is about feeling that I will be judged by others.  That others will feel I am “less than” because I left a relationship, because I no longer own the beautiful Open Heart Ranch, because…who knows.  The ego can come up with any number of reasons I should be “less than”.   Even though I understand “what others think is none of my business”, I am in fact a human with an ego.

The ego wants me to hide my true self because if you really knew me you couldn’t possibly love me, respect me, etc.    I suspect you have felt this too; it is our human nature.

What I know for sure is that the only way to happiness, the only way to freedom is by being completely authentic about who we are…and by loving all of who we are.  Once the dark thoughts and fears we harbor inside are exposed to the light of day they lose their power. When you are authentic, it allows others to be authentic too.  It’s liberating, it’s freeing, and it’s what we all need most.

Back to the reasons no one needs to “feel sorry” for me.

It’s disempowering when we “take pity” on another.  I realize it isn’t a conscious intention but when we pity or feel sorry for others we forget this person is very powerful.  Whatever circumstances they have found themselves in they have all the power within them to survive it and grow from it. (Taking pity is much different than praying for their highest good and trusting in the Divine plan).

Here’s why this really pushes my buttons…and I recognize clearly this is a button for me.  When someone says they feel sorry for me, “so sorry to hear that”, “wish I could change it”, etc, in my mind it makes me a victim; a victim to my circumstances.

I spent the first 11 years of my life as a helpless child; a victim to child abuse…and worse.  And I am no longer a victim.    I worked hard to recognize the indomitable spirit in me that survived a horrendous childhood AND to recognize all the many gifts that came as a result.  While my ego may see my childhood as a tragedy, my SOUL chose my experiences…ALL of them.  Those experiences are why I am who I am today.  Why I can so readily hear and feel the animals.  Why I feel so much compassion for the animals, the earth and all the people who dwell here.

I have progressed from victim to Survivor to Thriver to Illuminator.

I’m on a mission to let every abuse survivor know that they came to this world with a purposeful soul.  They came here to HEAL this world through their sensitivity, their compassion, their intuitive gifts and their indomitable Spirit.

We can be completely authentic.  We can show all of who we are because there isn’t ANY aspect of any of us that isn’t completely perfect, completely beautiful.

Wow.

That feels so much better.

Writer’s block gone.  See you next week.

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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Barb Churchill January 7, 2014 at 8:39 pm

Wendy,
Thank you for your honesty and willingness to be seen. I love the work you are doing and I know how much you are helping your clients heal. YOU are completely beautiful!
Much love & hugs!

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Julee Duessing January 8, 2014 at 1:44 pm

Beautiful Inspiring Blog Wendy! You hold the torch for so many of us with your honesty and transparency. I can’t wait to see what is next!

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Becky January 8, 2014 at 2:00 pm

Well said Friend. I am certain you have written what many of us needed to read today. No judgment in this comment, just stating a fact. Thanks.

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Jeanne Shamrowicz January 8, 2014 at 2:04 pm

You, dear lady, are a treasure! Thank you for sharing your truths with us and congratulations on your move and following your soul. 🙂 Peace and blessings!

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Kdkh January 8, 2014 at 2:30 pm

Congratulations for moving on to a new phase of your life! Choices would be so much more difficult if we couldn’t move on when we’d out-grown them. Good job for letting yourself continue to evolve!

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Cindy L. Kaletka January 8, 2014 at 3:12 pm

I admire your courage! It’s a big step to move on to the next phase of your life. I wish you much joy and clarity as you continue to grow!

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Kristine January 8, 2014 at 4:06 pm

Very inspiring. I too am “hiding” and have been for awhile. I know coming out the other side will be good, be the “Freedom” I want but I just cannot take that step. Thank you for your honesty.

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Wendy Wolfe January 8, 2014 at 4:21 pm

Kristine, sometimes we need to be in that hidden space a bit…when the time is right you will emerge, just like the butterfly from the caterpillar.

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Kristine January 8, 2014 at 4:55 pm

Thank you.

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Tina Ashcraft January 8, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Becky is right–many of us needed to read this, myself included. I must stop hiding and learn to move on–and I am hiding.
Thanks for writing this Wendy–your words make me stand just a bit taller with the affirmation that I am still ‘me’ and I am good.

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Cheryl Roberts January 8, 2014 at 5:08 pm

Wow. Beautifully written and I applaud your authenticity. So happy to call you a friend. Can’t wait for the next blog.

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Cathi Pipping January 8, 2014 at 5:23 pm

Wendy -Your blog is incredibly courageous and moving. You are indeed perfect and beautiful…Cathi

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Laurie Matson January 8, 2014 at 5:58 pm

It sounds like you just needed a little bit of time to work things out. Congratulations on this next stage in your life’s journey. I’m glad you’re happy! So are “so much more than”!!!

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Laurie Matson January 8, 2014 at 5:59 pm

That should be…..”you are so much more than” darn spell check!

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Jane Stanton January 10, 2014 at 5:05 am

Thank you for sharing your truth with us Wendy, I am excited for you. All change is good. Looking forward to more stories from you and the animals. Love Jane xoxo

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sue strehlow January 14, 2014 at 1:21 am

Thanks for reaching out to all of us who care. Can’t wait to continue our journey together though this time.

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Marisha Platner January 14, 2014 at 3:39 pm

Thank you Wendy for taking the risk to speak your truth and share your wonderful authentic self with all of us. You have enriched my life!

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