<\/p>\n
Last week\u2019s blog generated a lot of questions about how to respond appropriately when someone is hurting or facing a challenge. \u00a0\u00a0As you recall, I wrote about how someone saying \u201cOh, I\u2019m so sorry\u201d, often doesn\u2019t feel good.\u00a0 So what do you say?\u00a0 And what\u2019s wrong with saying \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d.\u00a0 (Actually nothing when the intention is clear\u2026read on).<\/p>\n
Lest you think I have traveled into the land of Ann Landers, this isn\u2019t so much about manners as it is about being conscious about your words and the energy<\/i> and intention behind them.\u00a0 I teach a lot about energy boundaries and exchanges in my Illumination program<\/a>.\u00a0 Think of this as a lesson in energy management.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s why pity feels so sh**y<\/span>.\u00a0 It\u2019s the ENERGY behind it, not the specific words.\u00a0 When the energy comes from the thought that you need help, that you aren\u2019t capable of handling whatever it is that has happened, there is judgment. \u00a0Judgment has an energy that can be felt\u2026and it doesn\u2019t feel good.\u00a0 When you are a highly sensitive empath, you don\u2019t just hear the words, you feel the energy<\/i> behind it and you can be left wondering why such a \u201cnice\u201d exchange has you feeling worse.<\/p>\n Some people enjoy learning about others troubles.\u00a0 They want to \u201chelp\u201d, they want to \u201crescue\u201d.\u00a0 In reality they are engaged in a form of energy stealing.\u00a0 When they \u201chelp\u201d or \u201crescue\u201d another, it\u2019s a way they take energy from that person.\u00a0 And that folks, feels sh**y.\u00a0 It\u2019s rarely a conscious intention but is the result of being oblivious to one\u2019s own inner workings.\u00a0 (Of course, what others do to your energy is totally in your control..more from the Illumination Program<\/a>).<\/p>\n The energy of pity is a low vibration.\u00a0 Bringing \u201cpity\u201d energy to the person who may already be in a place of low vibration will not help the situation.\u00a0 Projecting a loving energy, knowing that this person has all they need to handle the situation is the best way you can be of service.\u00a0 Share the vibration of love and you will help lift them up.\u00a0 Expect them to succeed.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s another disempowering phrase : \u201cI\u2019m so proud of you\u201d.\u00a0 This is okay from a mother whose 2 year old just used the toilet by herself.\u00a0 Think about that phrase.\u00a0 A person is taking pride in another\u2019s achievement.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Did they have something to do with it?\u00a0 If not, there is no reason for the other to take pride.\u00a0 I get that many people say these things with good intentions and because frankly they never really thought about it.\u00a0When you say something like this with heart felt love, it will not feel bad.<\/p>\n And…<\/p>\n There are other ways to show support and love.\u00a0 Here are a few ideas to start with.\u00a0 Try them out on yourself and see which feels better to you.\u00a0 Which would you rather hear?<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m so proud of you\u201d<\/em> versus<\/p>\n I admire what you have done.<\/span><\/p>\n Your work inspires me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n I honor the work you have done.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cHow can I help you\u201d<\/em> (assuming they have not directly asked for help) versus<\/p>\n If you decide you need support, I am here for you.\u00a0 Just let me know what you need.<\/span><\/p>\n A few readers asked me what do you say when someone has experienced a loss due to death.\u00a0 In this case, \u201cI\u2019m sorry for your loss\u201d is \u00a0fine.\u00a0 What\u2019s important is that you open your heart and SEE the person.\u00a0 Be present and allow them to share as they need to.<\/p>\n All any of us really want is to be seen and heard.<\/p>\n Not judged.<\/p>\n Seen.<\/p>\n Loved.<\/p>\n Appreciated for who we are.<\/p>\n Just as we are.<\/p>\n Knowing that we don\u2019t need to be any different to be perfect.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Last week\u2019s blog generated a lot of questions about how to respond appropriately when someone is hurting or facing a challenge. \u00a0\u00a0As you recall, I wrote about how someone saying \u201cOh, I\u2019m so sorry\u201d, often doesn\u2019t feel good.\u00a0 So what do you say?\u00a0 And what\u2019s wrong with saying \u201cI\u2019m sorry\u201d.\u00a0 (Actually nothing when the 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