I never Coulda Shoulda
I don’t remember where I learned this phrase but it was at least 20 or 30 years ago. It means what we have done in the past was done with what we knew then, where we were emotionally and couldn’t have been done differently. To live in the past and rehash how we might have done something differently never serves us. We could only do what we knew then.
This doesn’t mean we don’t learn from our past. As Maya Angelou often said “When you know better, you do better”. The tricky part is when we know better, when we learn to do differently it’s easier to judge our past choices as mistakes. In our now more enlightened state we would make different choices.
Let’s remember we weren’t “enlightened” then. We made choices based on what we knew or understood then. This isn’t limited to what we knew intellectually but what we understood about ourselves emotionally and intuitively as well. We did the best we could with where we were.
And maybe…that’s exactly what needed to occur for the learning to happen.
Maybe your Soul was leading you in that very “wrong” direction on purpose.
If you had made other choices can you see that you wouldn’t be who you are now?
It’s time to put the stick down. Stop beating yourself. Hashing over the past wishing you had done something different keeps us in a place of “not good enough”. And my dear friend, there is nothing “not good enough” about you.
It’s time to begin speaking to yourself as if you are good enough. More than good enough. Because…
What we say to ourselves is very powerful.
Our thoughts or intention physically affect matter. Really. There’s scientific proof.
The Institute of HeartMath conducted studies to observe the effect intention (thoughts) have on physical matter, specifically, DNA. The results were nothing less than astounding.
The most important thing to understand is that to change physical matter in a way that we want, we need to be in what HeartMath refers to as Heart Coherence. I first learned of this at a workshop with Greg Braden. As Heart Coherence was described, I realized they were describing the same process I use to teach others to communicate with animals. Heart Coherence is a measurable state of the heart from a physical standpoint but also employs generating an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude.
Here’s a summary of the findings in a nutshell. In a very well structured scientific study, the results demonstrate that when in a state of Heart Coherence participants are able to alter DNA with their thoughts.
Seriously. Think about this. Your thoughts can change physical matter.
Those who were more proficient at the Heart Coherence state were able to have more effect on the specific strands of DNA. With their intention and thoughts, they loosened and tightened strands of DNA. In some cases the DNA was in another location a half mile away. The founder of HeartMath, Doc Childre, when presented with three strands of DNA in one vessel was able to tighten one, loosen another and leave the third one alone. If you want to read the full research summary, it’s here.
I invite you to think about what you tell yourself. What is your intention towards yourself?
Are you being kind?
Would you speak this way to a friend?
If not, it’s time to change your conversation.
You deserve nothing less than gentleness and unconditional love.