One of our kitties, Junior, experienced a severe trauma to his hind leg this past week. He came in to the barn one day dragging his leg, completely unable to put any weight on it. When the vet examined him, she determined he had torn ligaments and damaged soft tissue and nerves in the leg. He had no feeling in the leg. X-rays revealed no broken bones but the ankle was moving in ways that it should not. We decided to try time, laser and essential oils to see if the nerve trauma would repair itself and to help heal the soft tissue damage. The vet recommended we put a cone on him because as she explained, animals with a limb that isn’t functioning properly will often chew off their leg.
I communicated with Junior and found out how he damaged his leg…he got the leg caught in a “v” made by branches in a tree as he was jumping down and all his weight hung from the leg causing the extensive tissue damage. I shared with him that we would be doing all that we could to help him heal and that he should not try to remove the leg himself. So far he has been cooperative but another complication arose. The pressure from the damaged tissue (lots of swelling) burst the skin on the paw. That’s why you see the large bandage on him. If his leg is unable to recover from this trauma we may have to remove the leg so that he can survive. I know that he will do just fine as a tripod. He’s been very brave and very cooperative.
As I pondered the strong instinctual drive of animals to chew off a limb to survive I was struck by our own survival instincts…instincts that have gone a bit askew…where we are chewing off our limbs too.
Okay, maybe we aren’t’ actually chewing off our leg or arm but there are ways we dismember ourselves out of fear. These fears are born of our conditioning in this world and aren’t typically realistic.
Recently, I experienced a herniated disc in my back. It incapacitated me to the extent that all I could do was lie on my back or side for nearly two months. Standing for more than 5-10 minutes or sitting even for a few moments brought on excruciating pain. So what precipitated this? Why did my body choose to “chew off my leg”?
The back issue happened as I began writing my book with fervor. Why would writing my book bring on this issue? Because the little child inside of me, my four-year old self was terrified. She was terrified because to her writing my book was “telling” and she learned very vividly that if she ever “told” very bad things would happen to her and her animals. She lived this once and was absolutely terrified these bad things would happen again. Even though the adult me knows they can no longer hurt me or my animals (and most if not all of them are deceased), the child with the memories was not convinced. The back injury put a halt to my writing. I couldn’t physically write because I could not sit or stand.
This was no coincidence.
This was my unconscious survival mechanism. In order to heal I needed to address the fears of my younger self. I needed to listen within and help that part of me understand we would be safe. Now having done the inner work and the outer work of surgery and physical therapy I am able to write my book.
This is one example of how we dismember ourselves based on our learned fears. Do you see yourself in any of these scenarios?
- Do you work at job you hate because you believe that you cannot make a living doing what you love or what you feel called to do?
- Do you shut down your inner voice that pleads with you to live differently?
- Have you given up on your dreams?
- Do you hide your art or creative talents because you don’t think you are “good enough”?
- Do you stay in relationships that are toxic because it is familiar and less scary than the unknown?
- Do you commit to projects or friendships that do not serve you out of guilt or obligation?
- Do you hide your truth because you are afraid of being seen as weird or different?
- Do you bury your feelings with alcohol, food, drugs or other addictive diversions?
- Do you keep secrets to keep the peace?
- Do you say “yes” when you want to say “no”?
If you said yes to any of these you are not alone. All of these are ways we keep ourselves in the illusion of being safe.
The animal may actually be increasing their rate of survival by chewing off a limb. It may heal and allow them to go on to live a fairly normal life.
Our dismemberment is different. It only appears to help us survive. Realistically, it does the opposite of survival. It brings a death…a death of our true self; a shrinking of our Soul.
The good news is this can change.
We can begin to acknowledge where we are dismembering our self and we can choose differently.
We can take small steps towards living a life that is in alignment with our true self.
It will require listening within.
It will require courage.
It will require action.
And you can do this.
I know you can because recent women in my Illumination Program have done this.
They have learned the tools to discern who they really are and what feeds their soul.
They have found the courage to make changes that bring more meaning and joy to their life.
They have listened to their intuition and embraced the callings of their Soul; their true self
To learn more about the Illumination Program, sign up here for a free consultation with me and get ready to embrace your true self.